I just returned from a weekend with seven female high school classmates. It was an informal reunion for us women, inspired by the men in our 1986 graduating class who had started a tradition of meeting up. Of the group of eight, some of us are closer friends who have kept up over the years and miles separating us from high school, while others in our group hadn’t talked to each other since high school and even then, often on a more hi-in-the-hallway level of interaction. This was an opportunity to reconnect and deepen that connection.

It. Was. Wonderful.

As an introvert, I never go to a reunion without some trepidation. The anticipation of meeting up with so many people you haven’t seen can feel almost overwhelming, like speed dating, firing or having fired at you a round of questions designed to quickly catch up on the almost four decades of life that have passed before moving on to the next person and conversation. For someone who gets their energy from being alone, envisioning all that human stimuli can feel intimidating and draining.

However, as was the case with our weekend gathering, when I am actually in the situation, what I really feel is the warm glow that comes from connecting with others.

And that is not surprising. Research supports that social connectedness is essential to our health and well-being.¹ How much is needed can vary by individual, but what does not vary is the fact that people who feel connected with others thrive more.¹

What Does “Social Connectedness” Mean?

Social connectedness refers to the relationships and interactions we have with others. This includes our family members, friends, coworkers, and others we come in contact with in our community and life at large. It encompasses all the ways we connect with each other, from face-to-face conversations to virtual connections, from intimate talks and comfortable companionship to light social exchanges with our barista.

The Benefits of Social Connectedness

Research shows that social connectedness plays a vital role in mental, emotional, and physical health, offering numerous benefits that help women lead healthier and more fulfilling lives:¹

• We live longer
• We are happier
• We feel less stressed, anxious, and depressed
• We are more empathetic
• We have greater self-esteem
• We are more resilient and able to cope better with life challenges
• We are more trusting and cooperative
• We experience better health outcomes

Social connectedness has a positive impact on our heart health and immune functioning. There is even evidence that feeling connected to others and having social support can help us maintain a healthy body mass index (BMI) and control blood sugar.¹

Our social connections can encourage us to lead a healthier lifestyle, such as through exercising together or motivating each other to eat healthier or stop a negative habit, such as smoking.¹ They can also play a role in our own personal and professional development by providing role models and mentors.¹ In addition, social connectedness supports our sense of belonging and enhances our sense of purpose and fulfillment.¹

Social disconnectedness, on the other hand, has the reverse effect.

Social isolation can impact our health negatively, increase depressive symptoms, and even mortality.¹ In fact, research shows that a lack of social connections can be as detrimental to our health as smoking, obesity, physical inactivity, or high blood pressure.¹

A lack of social connections can be as detrimental to our health as smoking, obesity, physical inactivity, or high blood pressure.

Bottom line: Social connectedness supports a virtuous cycle of well-being — psychologically and physically.¹

Strategies for Building & Maintaining Social Connections

Despite the positive role that social connectedness plays in our overall well-being, we may not prioritize it and let other things — our busy lives, obligations, geographical distance from loved ones, insecurity, or feeling that we may not be accepted — stand in our way.

We also may not realize just how much a positive role being socially connected plays in our lives until we are forced to be less connected — such as during COVID — or when we do connect and realize how much better we feel. I know this to be true because even though I love to spend time alone doing my thing, the truth is that too much of that good thing weighs on me. Too much time alone, and I feel it. I just feel better when I have regular social interaction.

Feeling socially connected is important for all of us, and if we’re not making this a priority in our lives now, making a commitment to do so now can enhance how we feel and live. Therefore, let’s talk about ways we can make sure to get enough to support our well-being.

1: FOCUS ON THE FEELING

If you’re reading this and feeling dejected because you don’t think that you have the number or depth of connections that you “should,” don’t worry. We don’t have to have many social connections or even deep ones for us to reap the benefits of social connectedness.¹ Rather, what research shows is that it’s our subjective sense of connection that matters.¹ In other words, it’s how connected we feel to others that matters and that is something we can feel even if we don’t have that many connections or know the person with whom we’re having an interaction all that well. We only need to take action to engage and find what helps us to feel that sense of connection.

2. SUPPORT CURRENT CONNECTIONS

Support your overall well-being and enrich your life and the lives of others by nurturing the connections you already have. Many of us have family, friends, a life partner, neighbors, colleagues (present or past), and other social relationships already established in our lives. However, due to busy lives or other reasons, we may neglect those connections, even close ones. So, make time for the people in your life, prioritizing them and setting aside time in your schedule to reach out and connect regularly, whether by text, email, telephone call, or meeting in person.

3. BUILD NEW CONNECTIONS

Support your overall well-being and enrich your life and the lives of others by building new connections. Building new social connections is like finding your purpose. You may need to explore different avenues to find what fits you best, both in terms of how you build connections and who you build connections with. After all, not everyone will be a best friend, but they don’t need to be in order to touch your life and you theirs in a positive way.

Remember: The goal is to feel a sense of connection. We can achieve that in many different ways. So, don’t go into this with preconceived notions or expectations that can limit you. Instead, open yourself up to the potential that a connection may have to enrich your life in a variety of ways.

The following are some ideas on how to build new connections:

• Volunteer.
• Join groups or organizations that focus on a hobby, interest, spiritual interest, or cause that you care about. Search online and community resources for groups and organizations in your area and area of interest.
• Join a group related to your profession.
• Join a team sport.
• Register for a class. This can be an opportunity not just for learning about something you are interested in or a skill or area you want to develop but for social connection, too.
• Connect with the parents of friends of your child. School events and playdates you schedule for your child with fellow classmates can be a great way to meet new people.
• Reach out to people you’ve lost contact with (while I’m not a big user of Facebook, I find this to be a great tool to reconnect with people who I’ve lost touch with over the years).
• If you don’t work, consider a part-time job to connect more with others.
• Check your community for social events and activities, and join in the fun.
• We can get in the habit of saying no to social opportunities, so be open and say yes more often when an opportunity arises.
• Travel to different places and meet new people. You can make it even easier by joining a tour group to travel somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit. Add to the adventure by making it an active or good-for-a-cause experience, such as joining a bike or hiking group or service-oriented trip.

4. ENGAGE MORE WITH THE WORLD AT LARGE

Look for opportunities to engage more with the world as you go about your day. For example:

• If you work from home or otherwise spend a lot of time alone in your house, take breaks to go outside and get some fresh air. Take a walk, ride your bike, go for a run, or go to a park to sit and relax, and use the opportunity to greet or speak with others as you do.
• Seek out public spaces: In addition to the above, go to a coffee shop, library, book store, shopping mall, community center, or other venue where there are people. Being around other people can help us to feel more engaged in society and can also be a good opportunity to connect, even if that is just saying “good morning” or “thank you.”

5: USE TECHNOLOGY TO BRIDGE BARRIERS & SUPPORT CONNECTEDNESS

Use technology to bridge geographical distances, time, or another barrier to social connectedness, such as:

• Video conferencing platforms, such as Zoom, Skype, Google Meet, FaceTime (for Apple devices), or Microsoft Teams.
• Messaging and chat apps, such as WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, Telegram, Signal, Slack, or Discord.

You may also like to connect through gaming online with friends or using social media platforms, such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, or Pinterest to connect. (Just make sure that using it in a way that leaves you feeling more socially connected than disconnected, which research shows can also be a risk with social media usage.²)

6: DO WHAT SUPPORTS A GOOD CONNECTION

Do things to build a positive connection or strengthen current connections. Practice good communication skills. Ask questions, actively listen, and show caring for what the other person has to say and what is going on in their lives. Be reliable, showing up for others to offer help or give support. Be empathetic and nonjudgmental. Create joyful memories by doing fun activities and spending quality time together. Remember special events or anniversaries. Connect for no other reason than to say hey or to express gratitude for them being in your life.

Remember: We All Need to Connect

People are social animals. Even if some of us are more introverted than others, connecting with others is essential to our health and well-being. So, prioritize taking time to get out and connect with others. You will be amazed at how good it feels when you do.

And if you’re shy about reaching out, remember this: You’re not the only one who needs or wants social connectedness. We all do. So, step out of your comfort zone and start connecting. When you do, you give yourself the opportunity to enrich not only your life but the lives of those you connect with, too.