KEY TAKEAWAY: Living congruently means to live in a way that aligns with what you want and is most meaningful to you. To help you live more congruently, build awareness around your use of your Vital Resources – your time, energy, and money. Regularly check in with yourself to consider your Vital ROI or the return you are getting on your investment of time, energy, and money and how well it does (or does not) support how you want to feel and live. Scroll down to the TAKE ACTION section for this week’s actionable steps.

Are you living congruently?

What do I mean by “living congruently”?

Congruence is defined as “agreement or harmony.”¹ So, living congruently means that how you are living is in agreement with what you want. How you are using your resources is in harmony with what is most meaningful to you and your life.

So, are you living congruently?

Is how you are living in agreement with how you want to feel and live?

Is how you are using your resources in harmony with what you want for yourself and your life?

By “resources”, I am particularly referring to what I refer to as your “Vital Resources.

Your Vital Resources

Your Vital Resources are:

1. Your time
2. Your energy – physical, mental, and emotional
3. Your money

Why those three things?

They are the primary resources you have to work with to create your life experience. You have 24 hours in the days you have left to live your life. You have a finite amount of energy to work with. You have finite financial resources (or, at least, most of us do) to support how you want to feel and live. (Fortunately, you can do things to optimize the time, energy, and money you have to work with, which will be a continuing theme as we continue our THRIVE journey.)

So, are you living congruently?

Are you using your Vital Resources in a way that supports what you want?

And if not, why not?

Many of us, to one degree or another and for various reasons, don’t live congruently or use our Vital Resources optimally to support what we want. We get busy with obligations that demand our time, energy, and money. We don’t prioritize the things that are most meaningful to us; instead, we spend our resources but not necessarily on what most supports our well-being and fulfillment in the long run.

We get stuck in patterns or situations that don’t make us feel how we desire yet find difficult to change. We don’t know what we want and find it easier to keep the status quo. We let ourselves be guided by not-enoughness and other limiting feelings or internal or external voices that tell us why we should, shouldn’t, or can’t be, do, or have something. We want to please others or avoid their judgment or criticism.

Bottom line: We may feel we don’t have a choice or feel powerless to make a change.

Whatever the reason, when we don’t align what we do with what we want and live incongruently, we can end up feeling empty, unfulfilled, stressed, frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed, resentful, or yearning for something we can’t find because we stay stuck in a pattern of doing what doesn’t support what we want.

So, how can you live more congruently?

LIVE MORE CONGRUENTLY

You can start to live more congruently by building awareness. Awareness is the first step toward positive change. In anything. In everything. That will be a common thread in THRIVE as we take this journey together to feel more empowered and fulfilled inside. To create change, you need to be more aware of when you are or are not supporting how you want to feel and live.

(Which doesn’t mean that you’re always going to do things perfectly or do the “right” thing. However, it will mean that you will be more intentional about your choices and actions. It means that you will live your life more consciously.)

So, how can you build that awareness to live more congruently?

You check your Vital ROI on a regular basis.

Check Your Vital ROI

Your Vital ROI is the return you are getting on your investment of your Vital Resources. When you feel you have a good vital ROI, you are spending your time doing what aligns with what is important to you and what you want in your life. You are spending your physical, mental, and emotional energy dedicated to what is most meaningful to you. You are using your financial resources in a way that allows you to have the fulfilling life experiences you want for yourself and your loved ones.

So, as you implement the action plan you created last week, check your Vital ROI.

Ask yourself:

TIME: How am I using the 24 hours I have each day, and is it aligned with what I want?

Think about where you spend your time. Review your calendar. Go through your days. If you want to be really accurate, take a day or so and track how you spend your time. Include the amount of time spent on sleep, work, email, social media, administrative items, housework, helping kids with homework, cooking, shopping, commuting, errands, quality time with your partner, kids, family, and friends, personal hygiene, and exercise.

Get as detailed as you like. Instead of lumping a chunk of time into the “work” category, if you feel your work is a source of incongruence or want to improve or enhance in some way how you use your time at work, then you may want to break it down by the different activities you spend time on throughout the day.

ENERGY: How am I using my energy – physical, mental, and emotional – and is it supporting how I want to feel and live?

Go through your days and think about what takes up most of your energy — physically, mentally, and emotionally. Work off your time list and note how each item you spend time on impacts your energy, positively or negatively. Also, consider elements or conditions that may not take up time but take up your energy. For example, financial worries, a draining relationship, an uninspiring job, and not feeling physically good can all take up energy. Think about all the pieces of your life and how they consume and affect your energy.

MONEY: How am I using my financial resources, and is it aligned with what I want?

Think about where your money goes. Review your bank account and your credit card statements. What are your financial resources allocated to, and is it adding to your quality of life and supporting what is most meaningful to you? For example, does the amount of money you spend toward housing costs or lifestyle costs enhance your life, or does it feel like a burden?

MAKE IT A HABIT

Get in the habit of reflecting on your use of your time, energy, and financial resources. As you are making a decision about how you are going to use your time, energy, or money, make it a habit of asking yourself:

• Is how I am spending this vital resource supporting what I want to feel or what I want for my life? Now? Later? Why or why not?
• How good do I feel about the amount of time/energy/money I’m dedicating to this? How do I feel about the return I’m getting for what I invest in each?
• Where would I like to spend less time, energy, or money?
• Where would I like to spend more time, energy, or money? What’s missing in my life that I would like to dedicate more of my vital resources to?

MAKE A CHANGE

As you take action to achieve how you want to feel or live – including the action steps you identified last week in your goals’ action plan – think about what you need to adjust in how you spend your time, energy, or money to better support what you’re trying to achieve.

You may be able to adjust some things fairly easily or in the short term, while others may take more time and effort. However, remember what you’re working toward: What you want to feel more of or have in your life.

So, even if it takes a little effort, isn’t what you want worth it?

TAKE ACTION:

1. Check your TIME Vital ROI. As you go through your day, ask yourself if what you are dedicating your time to is supporting how you want to feel and what you want in your life.
2. Check your ENERGY Vital ROI. As you go through your day, ask yourself if what you are dedicating your energy to is supporting how you want to feel and what you want in your life.
3. Check your MONEY Vital ROI. As you go through your day, ask yourself if what you are dedicating your financial resources to is supporting how you want to feel and what you want in your life.
4. Identify what you can adjust or do differently in the short- or longer-term to use your Vital Resources to better support what you want.

IMPORTANT: The information provided is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional with any questions you may have regarding the topics discussed here as the topics discussed are based on general principles and may not be applicable to every individual.