KEY TAKEAWAY: Cultivate your inner oasis of peace to enjoy greater well-being and resilience even when life around you is not so peaceful or easy. To help you cultivate inner peace, SDASU/meditate daily by taking time each day to sit, get still, and just be. Scroll down to the TAKE ACTION section for this week’s actionable steps.

In 2016, I was living in Switzerland with my husband and our youngest son. Our oldest was away at university in the U.S. By the time we reached Switzerland, one of many countries we experienced as expats, I was already 13 years into my well-being journey.

I was exercising regularly and, thanks to finally getting free from my toxic relationship with diets and the scale, also eating well. I was also getting enough sleep, doing work I loved with people I enjoyed, had a family I adored, and was financially secure.

Everything was good.

Yet, there was something that wasn’t so good.

And that was how I was managing stress.

Despite everything I was doing to support my physical and mental health, I apparently wasn’t doing enough. This came to me when I experienced two events that were not at all life-or-death situations but stressful enough to make my blood pressure shoot up and my heart start palpitating.

I had no control over it.

And it wasn’t like I was ultra-sensitive to stress.

My corporate career hadn’t been stress-free, nor had raising children, being married, or juggling typical life responsibilities and challenges. Like most of us, I was used to doing what I needed to do.

But for some reason, despite feeling I could manage whatever came my way, I apparently couldn’t.

After the two blood-pressure-skyrocketing-and-heart-palpitating events, I knew I had to do more to avoid being held hostage to stress. Knowing I couldn’t control what was happening around me, I wanted to feel more in charge of what was happening inside me when stressful situations arose.

So, I committed to a daily SDASU practice.

WHAT IS SDASU?

SDASU stands for Sit Down and Shut Up.

That’s what I nicknamed my practice of what is more commonly known as meditation because, when I started meditating, that is what I had to force myself to do: Sit Down and Shut Up. Literally and figuratively.

Doors. Lights. Sounds. Sight. Speech. My thoughts (or so I tried).

Meditation seemed too zen for what I was trying to do. In the beginning, I was so antsy that it was all I could do to sit still, and even then, there were times I would jump up mid-SDASU to write down a to-do item that had come into my head.

However, eventually, it became easier as I stuck with my commitment to practice it daily, even if I could only show up for five minutes. Years into this, I will tell you that making meditation a regular practice has been as transformational as regular exercise.

Meditation has become a space of peace and rest from my mind’s frantic pace. Although thoughts come and go, there are spaces of stillness where I feel as if my whole being is sighing with relief. It’s akin to the feeling you get when you relax a long-clenched muscle. I also enjoy moments of inspiration when I meditate, with ideas arriving like unexpected gifts at my mental doorstep.

While the quality of my meditation varies from day to day, the benefits do not. I am more mindful. I can better navigate challenges. I am better at accepting what I can’t control. I have more clarity about what I want. I live more fully because I am more likely to step outside my comfort zone because I have a tool to help me navigate the discomfort of doing so.

Suffice it to say I consider meditation as indispensable to my well-being as exercise.

However, like exercise, meditation can be challenging to start and stick with in the beginning, but there is so much to gain if you do. The benefits will get you hooked and keep you coming back for more.

So, let’s talk about some of those benefits.

WHY SDASU (a.k.a. MEDITATE)?

You may have noticed that life isn’t always peaceful and that there are many things in it you can’t control.

In fact, many days, there seem to be too many things that are out of our control and that can hijack whatever calm we’ve tried to cultivate.

(By “cultivate,” I mean by working harder and doing whatever is necessary to control everything around us to force some blessed peace, if only temporarily. Unfortunately, if you’re like me, you’ve found this to be a futile and draining strategy.)

If it’s not the headlines in the news, then the headlines of our lives—our children, parents, partners, health, jobs, finances, etc.—can create upset.

Meditation helps us to manage not what is happening around us but what is happening inside of us (which then helps us to manage those external things better, too, because we’re in a better place inside to do that).

Here are just a few things a meditation practice can help us with: ¹

• Stress, depression, and anxiety
• Blood pressure
• Pain
• Sleep
• Gastrointestinal upset
• Brain functioning, focus, and memory
• Substance abuse and eating disorders
• Creative thinking
• Loneliness (and other negative emotions)
• Peace (and other positive emotions)
• Relationship conflicts
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder
• Inflammation at the cellular level
• Aging
• Self-acceptance
• Immunity
• Self-control
• Connection with ourselves and others

Bottom line: Meditation can help us to feel better and, therefore, to live better.

HOW TO MEDITATE

Meditation is a practice of being vs. doing, something that can be incredibly challenging because our lives are often chock-full of the latter and limited on the former. So, don’t worry if you struggle at first (or often). I still have days where I feel like my monkey brain did more leaping from topic to topic than relaxing into peaceful being.

The good news is that when we meditate and become aware that our mind has fallen down some rabbit hole of thought, it is that awareness and bringing our attention back to our meditation that strengthens our consciousness muscle. The time it takes to recognize that our mind has wandered off yet again shortens, and we can feel more the peace between those mind-wandering instances.

To start, do the following:

Step 1: Sit down in a comfortable position in a quiet, private space.

You can try out different positions — sitting in a chair with feet on the floor, on a pillow, cross-legged, in a lotus position if you’re flexible — and see what you like best. Rest your hands on your thighs, cupped together in front of you, or whatever position feels most comfortable. Keep your back straight so that you can breathe easily. It’s better not to lie down because our bodies associate that position with sleeping, so you may find that you snooze more than you meditate.

Step 2: Set your timer or your meditation tool.

If you like, use a timer on your phone or another device to set a target time for your meditation practice (that way, you don’t need to interrupt your meditation to check the clock). Alternatively, use one of the many online meditations or apps; I will share my 10-minute guided meditation for paid members; if you want access to it and more resources, go here). Start small, initially targeting five or 10 minutes and working up from there.

Step 3: Close your eyes (optional), prepare, and breathe naturally.

Close your eyes, or, if you like, keep them open and softly focus on something just a few feet in front of you. I find it helps me to prepare for my practice with a few deep breaths. I also like to do a body scan from my toes to my head, releasing tension as I go. Then, breathe naturally, inhaling and exhaling through your nose.

Step 4: Focus on your breath and meditate without judgment.

Note that when I say “be still,” I don’t mean your mind. I mean your body. Your mind won’t be still. And it can even be challenging to be physically still, especially at first. You’ll think of things you must do and will be tempted to stop meditating and do them. And even if you’re physically still, your mind won’t be.

Don’t expect it to be calm or clear of all thoughts. Thoughts will come, and you can’t stop them. However, you can stop following them down the proverbial rabbit hole. When you become aware that you have fallen down the rabbit hole of thought (which you will), gently bring your focus back to your breath.

You can use visualization to help with mind wandering. As thoughts come, visualize letting them go, such as imagining your thoughts as balloons you release and watch float away, clouds moving across the sky, or cars passing in the distance. If I’m having trouble being present, I also find that counting my breaths can help me focus. I count my breaths from one to 10 and repeat that cycle for as long as I want to meditate.

DON’T TRY TO DO IT RIGHT; JUST DO IT

There is nothing magical about how you do meditation, only what magic meditation can create in your life by doing it. So, leave your expectations at the door. Let go of visions of having a particular meditation experience, your perfectionism, and your desire to “do it right.”

Many stop because they “can’t do” meditation, think they aren’t “doing it right,” or feel disappointed when they don’t float away on a transcendental cloud of enlightenment. Forget about all that. Showing up to meditate consistently is the only way you need to do it “right.”

Also, do not approach meditation as a one-and-done experiment. It is an ongoing practice. You need to do it consistently to get benefits. Just like you can’t build a stronger muscle with one workout, you don’t cultivate your inner oasis of peace with one or a few meditation sessions.

I have often heard “I can’t do it” or “It doesn’t work” from people new to meditation who tried it a few times. In my humble opinion and experience, it’s not that the person can’t do it but rather won’t, and not that meditation doesn’t “work,” but that the person isn’t working meditation, which means making it part of one’s daily routine.

In my experience, if you work it, it works. To help ensure it works, treat meditation like personal hygiene: An essential part of your daily routine. Show up for what you can show up for and for what shows up when you do.

FINAL THOUGHTS

In our busy lives, where we are in almost constant movement — if not our bodies, then our minds — we need to be able to find stillness. In an often chaotic world where so much is out of our control, we need to find a calm inner space to center ourselves.

While SDASU/Meditation won’t make us impervious to life situations or challenges or the feelings they elicit, it will help to psychologically ground us because a regular SDASU/Meditation habit helps us to create and tap into an inner well of peace even when things aren’t peaceful.

It helps us better manage the external stuff and support our well-being because how we feel inside isn’t the sum of those outside events.

You can’t control those outside events, but you can use SDASU/Meditation to feel more in control inside.

TAKE ACTION:

1. Schedule time on your calendar for your daily SDASU/Meditation practice.
2. To SDASU/Meditate, sit down in a comfortable position in a quiet, private space. Set your timer or your meditation tool. Close your eyes and breathe naturally. Focus on your breath and meditate without judgment or expectations. When your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your meditation.
3. Repeat every day.

References:

1: Benefits of Meditation

Cho, Jeena (2016, July 14). 6 Scientifically Proven Benefits Of Mindfulness And Meditation. Forbes. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/jeenacho/2016/07/14/10-scientifically-proven-benefits-of-mindfulness-and-meditation/#5728400163ce

Seppälä, Emma M., Ph.D. (2013, September 11). 20 Scientific Reasons to Start Meditating Today. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-it/201309/20-scientific-reasons-start-meditating-today

IMPORTANT: The information provided is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional with any questions you may have regarding the topics discussed here as the topics discussed are based on general principles and may not be applicable to every individual. 

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